Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Hash #166 - The ArtIsAnal Beer Hash...

Hash #166 - ArtIsAnal Beer Hash:

There's no denying that, as science teaches us, alcohol is a solution. A small but dedicated group of hashers met up at the gate on Saturday, but the gate was not the entrance. After acting like it was an issue for a few minutes, the brave group decided that the full uphill 100m walk from the main entrance to the Bierfest entrance was pretty much the same as a 7k run, so that's what we did.

At the gate we gladly ponied up 6,500 CLP for the privilege of entering the premises to spend money on beer.  Which we did. In copious amounts. But the strange and unusual part about this is that, in that crowd, we, the hashers, were the moderates, the teetotalers, as it were, because these people were here to slake a neverending thirst.

Selfe-sticks were, of course, the faddish item of the day, and people were wielding them with varying degrees of half-mind pride and skill.

 It wasn't long before the spirit of comradeship wafted over the lot like a San Francisco summer fog, and everyone was getting in on the selfie action, stick or no.
 In short order, hashers started acting all lovey-dubby, and cooing sweet nothings at each other, while, of course, sucking down beers faster than a '50s Cadillac pulling a trailer up a mountain.
 Some hashers even seemed alarmed. There's no telling whether it was because there was not enough beer, or too much. Others took it all more in stride...
 Pretty soon, things were getting awesome, or so it seemed. Beer may have had something to do with it, but everyone clearly thought the bass player was all-right.
Revelers with very small green hats jumped up and started dancing...
 ...seems everyone had had a couple by now.
 ..and that musician was even getting his hair to do the rock 'n roll swing
 "I love you, buddy"
 ...flying chairs - a sure sign of excessive consumption
 ...and people in big-ass sombreros cracking up at the flying chairs floating past.
 We even saw a selfie-stick accident or two. Those things can seem unwieldy after a few.
 but it was all taken in the proper spirit, as a joke and nothing more.

Final analysis: it was fun attending a promotional event to sample several craft beers simultaneously. As can be expected, edginess in a conformist culture amounts to copying that and not this, and the beers on offer reflected this instinct to comply. There were reds, pale ales, and stouts without a great deal of variation among them. There was a good deal of raspberry. Not a lambic in sight. Basically, most beers there were pretty good, with some mild stand-outs and some relatively lackluster ones in the mix, but, in the main, it was mostly down to how nice, informed, and earnest the people at each booth were, and everyone was in a surprisingly good mood, so there's not much to complain about on that front. 

Probably the most radical offering was Cervecería Kaf's Jalapeño amber ale. The ale was relatively young though nicely carbonated, with a sweet creaminess to the malt aroma from the head, and a lightly starchy mouth-feel and distinctive flavor of real hops, complimented very nicely by the tinny acidity, light spiciness, and the signature taste of the infused jalapeño. I tried it mostly for novelty, and came away impressed with the mature balance of flavors and richness of the brew. Nevertheless, I will not be derailed from curmudgeonly critiques. It's official; craft beer is a mainstream market. The road ever-so-slightly-less-traveled, as it were. Hell, the number of people sporting Trilbys the call Fedoras attested to that.

It was not, however, a hash, and it did not escape our notice that NoName Valentina got herself out of a naming through sheer cunning. Now, she's a leaver, claiming she shall return in two hashes' time. We shall see, and we shall act accordingly.

===Original Announcement===

OK - So Chilean marketing is, um, 'developing'... I'm sure this does not actually show a girl having a stroke while holding a beer, and the caption does not actually say "Drink beer and live less..."

Je Suis Ennui

January 17th. Seems everyone has left town and it's just us here. Thank goodness for the Santiago Bierfest at Parque Padre Hurtado. That's where we're going on this Martin Luther King birthday, to sample the country's finest beers.
This will be a self-funded hash, meaning that we will meet-up outside the park at 2pm, go for a run/walk, and then go check out the artisanal beer offerings and complimentary food fare inside.

The hash will be free, since we're not buying your beer, but admission to the event is $6750 prepay (*See below for details.) or $6500 at the door. Beer cost is on top of that.

Here's the 6k runners' route on Strava to keep things simple. This time the trail will not be marked, so please check it out here, and if you're not a phone user, print it out or follow those who are.. :)
  The deets:
  • What: Hash #166:
  • When: Saturday January 17th, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
  • Where: Parque Padre Hurtado.
  • How Much: free to hash, $6750 prepay or $6500 at the door for entrance to the bierfest. Count on 2000-3000CLP per beer, at ~500cc apiece, and anywhere from 2000-5000CLP for various foods.
    *Keep in mind that the ticketing website is slimy as hell: "$5000" is their advertised ticket price, but after "service charge" and "ticket delivery charge" (at the door), it comes to $13000 for two tickets if you pick them up in Providencia, or 13500 if you pick them up at the door, so $6750 per person...
    You be the judge.
    **When you land on that page, the site "recommends Internet Explorer, or Firefox, but NOT Chrome" regardless of what you're using... It's just shitty '80s programming with no concept of Q/A. Ignore the message and push on.
What to Bring:
  • sunscreen
  • a hat
  • cash
** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 8-12 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks at the Black Rock.

**For those who have never been to this location

Parque Padre Hurtado, known to locals alternately by its former name, "Parque Intercomunal de La Reina" is located roughly here, around Francisco Bilbao 8001. It is serviced by the 225, C05, and D11 buses from Tomas Moro (near Metro Los Domonicos). I believe the 225 bus goes there directly from the Metro stop.
Be warned that, of course, the entrance is not at the official address (8105), but on the south side of Bilbao near the corner of Duqueco.
We will be meeting up outside the front gate at 2pm, going for a run/walk, and then enjoying the festivities inside the park. 
You can PM hosts on Facebook or Meetup to get phone numbers so you can call us once there if you have a hard time locating us, but we generally look like this:

and so should not be too hard to spot.

Friday, 2 January 2015

Hash #165 - The Hangover Hush

A small, friendly hash, 165 saw the return of Sewage & Sir Sump Pump to Santiago, as well as a couple of new faces. The excellent trail, laid by the challenging, yet paternal Multiple Entry and gentle No Cuntry, was, as you can see, not the most grueling. Still, it was a very hot day, and even though the run started near 6pm, the temperatures were over 90, making some hashers quite cranky. Nothing a few cold beers later on would not fix.

Once back at hash-central, people mellowed quickly under the spell of cold brews on a hot summer's day.
Here we have NoName Becca (a virgin no more), Sir Sump Pump, and Sewage cooling off after the grueling trail.
A very considerate circle ensued, that saw the introduction of no less than three virgins to the Hash, and two namings! Owing to a lapse in memory, No-name Gonzalo returned for his fifth hash, so we rewarded him by trying to make cake on his head and christening him One-Eyed Monster!. No-name Linni, on the other hand, might have known better. Not one easily frightened by such displays, she charged in and took it like a man. Welcome as well, Eat My Wahlie!
United by adversity, our newest named hashers: Welcome, One-eyed Monster and Eat My Whalie.
In any case, it's pretty smart to get yourself named at a small hash with house-made basil & mushroom pizza made by the world-class foodie Multiple Entry, and a shower! Good thinking, guys!

A special thanks to Tokoloshe for exposing himself as Hash-Flash this time. He's a wily one, that Tokoloshe. As the single lone runner this day, he was both front-running bastard and immune to accusations of sins from the run. Very clever... 

As usual, our gratitude goes out as well to Bi-Weekly Deposit for taking the time out of his busy schedule to Meister our beer despite not being able to attend. The hash is in your debt, sir!

On on

===Original Announcement===


January 3rd. So quiet. So much regret so early in the year. Regaining your senses after a little bit too much revelry perhaps? Let's make this an intimate little affair in a small Vitacura pied-à-terre. A run. Yes, of course. And beer, and pizza. And a very small celebration - so much to celebrate, as always, what with the arrest of Joane of Arc on Jan 3rd 1431, the excommunication of Martin Luther on this day in 1531, the naming of San Francisco, CA in 1847, the excommunication of Cuba in 1961, and the founding of Apple computer in 1977.

Still, 3 days into the year, gentle reader, you may be feeling that you regret everything:

Not to worry! There is no redemption without temptation! So come for a little run, a beer, and silliness that would bore a jaded 5th-grader!

There will be simple home-made pizza, a little beer, and an indoor circle. We might be having a naming or two, and we're celebrating Sir Sump Pump's 80th & Maxipad w. Wings' 25th.

The trail may be live, and will certainly be short, as we're expecting a pretty warm day.

The deets:
  • What: Hash #165:
  • When: Saturday January 3rd, 5pm.
  • Where: Paseo Lo Matta 1311 #303.
  • How Much: $4.000 and the secret password gets you in, gets you beer and pizza.
What to Bring:
  • extra food (cocktail food, food for vegetarians, anything that strikes your fancy & does NOT require a grill)
  • extra libations (particularly if you're of the non-alcoholic persuasion: "We don't judge.")- Sunscreen? It will be well into the '90s...
How to find it: Get your directions from Google Maps here. It's quite accessible. Buses 406, 426, 411, 405, and 502 will get you there.